Eponine Jondrette (Thenardier, etc)

one might think that drinking alone at the graduate on a wednesday night would be pretty depressing, but one would be wrong. it's actually pretty fantastic and the free wireless internet makes it extra fantastic ( i still don't have internet in my new apartment). or perhaps it really is terrible and sad and i'm only enjoying myself here because my life is so lame and my standards so low that it feels fun, simply because it's an improvement to a slightly less pathetic state. hrmm. at one point, everyone in the bar (which really isn't very many people) was singing along to my selection of "i'm so tired of being alone". it was sort of awesome and terrible at the same time.

on a completely unrelated note... outside the luggage store (a gallery in sf i am interning for) there is a man who sells individual cigarettes for a quarter out of a clear plastic box and for some reason acts as the doorman of the gallery, which nobody asked for but everyone unquestioningly accepts. he has a gold tooth in the front and he's really nice. today as i was buying a marlboro red (shit, it's better than pall mall) he asked me if i'm single or married and he was disappointed to find out that i am indeed married. for some reason the whole exchange made me really happy, maybe partly because i find both the guy and buying cigarettes from him strangely delightful and partly because I still get a kick out of being able to say that i'm married.

...which reminds that i should really call jacob one of these days.
once i'm a divorcee it will be somewhat more acceptable and way cooler (in my mind, at least) to do things like drink hard alcohol in the middle of the day and hang out at sad bars alone, with smeared makeup, slurring "you men!" while spilling my drink. yess. *fist pump*


oh god i just broke my 'period' key err ?

oh. my. god. i had the most ridiculous conversation with my mother last night which involved her telling me that my plans for the future would FAIL and that i was wasting my life. then she accused me of having an affair with my art professor. and she was totally serious! the best part was that she was clearly not convinced when i told her how crazy that was. probably, this is the most amazing thing that's happened in a long time.
good thing i had a bottle of wine handy...

so. i caved and got me one of them new-fangled "livejournal" accounts, mostly because it was very inconvenient to keep up with my friends' posts without one. and now i am writing my first entry, mostly because of sleeplessness. i feel so dirty!

the not sleeping is probably a good thing since i've agreed to drive evelyn + friends to the airport at 5am, and it would be lame to sleep for a couple of hours and wake up. on a related note, i have just begun to realize how soon i will start missing evelyn. she will be gone for some days starting in a few hours, then moving out of the house soon after she returns. this makes me sad...

well, things that are going on with me (that is what i talk about here, right?). prospects for the future, school-wise and job-wise and not-being-destitute-wise have improved of late. prospects for general fulfillment, happiness, and non-loneliness are bleak as always.
mostly, i've been playing guitar and singing badly, smoking excessively, eating and sleeping not enough, reading, hanging out with friends, and listening to music. i can't really complain, except that more sleep would be good and i should be making more art-things.
i've been listening to reba mcentire today, because i'm going to record a cover of one of her songs (yeah, i'm totally serious and it's going to be awesome, okay?). this is one of many ridiculous recording projects that i'm going to begin very soon (like, tomorrow). alex, i'll have to get much feedback from you- although i'm certain everything will be embarrassingly bad. but that's ok because i'm embracing the inept-core genre.

well, i tire of this writing about myself stuff, so i'm going to stop now. it's bad enough being me without having to tell other people about it.

back to cigarettes and james joyce...